Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
