I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
