that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
