The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
