haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
