Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
