I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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