Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
