I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize