He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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