Kareoke will never be a sober sport
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
