so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
