We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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