i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
