just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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