Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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