I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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