i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
