this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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