i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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