I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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