We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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