i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i now understand why vodka
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
