Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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