pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
