you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!