oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
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it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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