but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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