Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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