So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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