Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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