I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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