I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
