a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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