morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
