he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
They took my balls.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
