so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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