Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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