I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
