Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
