drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
