All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize