I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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