No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
home. puking in laundry basket.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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