Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
