You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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