She said her name was "party"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
