sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
