Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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