How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
