did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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