You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
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I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
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I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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