I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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