oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
