I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
