its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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