Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
