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I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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