Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Houston, we have a squirter
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
