You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
