I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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