Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
