You're completely useless in the revolution.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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