I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
