mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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