There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
