he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
