Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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