Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
