you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
